Tag: autism
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I Feel Like a New Person!
I feel like a new person!! I keep trying to remind myself not to get too attached because I’m sure it is only temporary, but WOW!! I feel like I’ve been healed. I feel like a normal, healthy person. It feels too good to be true! I’ve actually cried from happiness, like a wish came…
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Stuck in my Head
I’ve always considered myself to be a reasonably smart, logical, well-balanced, normal kind of person. Everything made sense in my world and I was like most other people in the world (so I thought). Now I question my entire existence. All of those things that made me ME, I now realize are not normal. I…
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Feeling Very Proud of Myself
Why am I so proud you ask? Well, last week I did a thing. I was independent and strong and I took 2 of my kids to the Museum of Natural History in NYC without Eddie coming to help me. It was a big trip for me to do without help. We had a 60…
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Vacation, Covid, then Flare
We recently returned from a 10 day family vacation. It was a lot of work, but enjoyable. Of course, I pushed myself too hard and I’m paying for it now. No surprise there. We’ve been back about 2 weeks now and half of us tested positive for Covid. It started with my youngest while we…
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The Magic of Psilocybin
I came across some very interesting studies regarding psychedelics being used for mental health. I immediately started watching documentaries, reading books, and online journals, etc. to learn as much as possible about these psychedelics, specifically psilocybin. I learned about microdosing magic mushrooms for better overall mental health and well being. So I decided to be…
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Confused
Today is a better day. A stark contrast from 2 days ago. The sun came out and I can see goodness, although my view of the world is still a bit skewed. My depression is still lingering but it is much lighter today. Dare I say I’m on the upswing. I did finally reach out…
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Spiraling
I feel like I’m on the verge of a mental breakdown. My thoughts are spiraling out of control again. Negative thoughts. Ugly thoughts. Wondering who I really am. Feeling lost. Confused. Not sure who I am. Did I ever know who I was? When I was a teenager I was blissfully unaware of life and…
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Dec 28, 2021
Today is 3 days past Christmas and my house has officially been restored to non-holiday status. Its nice to see everything put away and the clutter removed, but now my house looks sterile and empty. Maybe tomorrow I’ll bring out some stuff from storage and do some simple non-holiday decorating again. In February I’ll decorate…
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Focus Inward
In light of my most recent discovery about myself (being on the autism spectrum), I’ve been reevaluating myself and my social interactions. I’ve spent my whole life trying to be social and have friends while always wondered what was wrong with me that I couldn’t do it like everybody else. I could never understand why…
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A Life of Confusion…
At 40 years old I’ve discovered that I have Autism. There, I said it! I feel ridiculous saying it at all. But it is the truth. It has been my truth all along but I never knew it. This explains why I’ve always had so many problems with myself and why I’ve hated myself for…
Surviving As Mom 