I am Only Human

Yesterday I was sitting on my lounger next to the pool watching my 6 year old son and my 5 year old nephew swim together…   I’m  amused by their imagination as they make up random scenarios to act out together.  It is early September and the weather is very mild.  It is a comfortableContinue reading “I am Only Human”

What is this Strange Feeling?

I’ve been feeling strong. I’m feeling good! I feel amazing! I’m trying not to get too attached, but I truly enjoy each day of feeling good. I’m exercising, learning, having fun, being active, …acting normal. I’m even walking more than I have in years! I have a theory for my surprising strength and overall wellbeing.Continue reading “What is this Strange Feeling?”

Ride the Wave…

I think I’ve definitely come out of my long winter flare and I am enjoying every second of feeling (almost) normal before its over. I think I’m currently at my peak. Keep in mind that a peak for me is about 85-90%, compared to a healthy person at 100%. I won’t complain though. This stillContinue reading “Ride the Wave…”

Rebirth after a Flare

I’m happy to admit that I have been feeling pretty good lately. I finally came out of my flare about a month ago, and I’m so happy. It always feels like a rebirth. Like I woke up out of a months-long coma. This seems to be a pattern each year in the spring. I comeContinue reading “Rebirth after a Flare”

Living Life 2 hours at a Time

There’s this idea out there that if you (…or I) just think positive, then whatever is ailing us will just magically disappear. Like “have you tried not thinking about it?” or “You just need to be more positive”. As if the reason for my pain and illness is because I think about it too much.Continue reading “Living Life 2 hours at a Time”

My Not-So-Happy Birthday

Tomorrow is my 40th birthday. I have mixed feelings about this. In the last 10 years or so, my birthday brings me sadness. There wasn’t any particular event that permanently ruined my special day. I try to be happy about the celebration of another year of life, but there is always a darkness, a heavinessContinue reading “My Not-So-Happy Birthday”

Life with Chronic Pain

Let’s talk about pain. Having a chronic illness comes with a lot of pain. For me, pain comes from a lot of sources including achy joints, muscles, bones, and even gastrointestinal problems. I also have the added complication of a spine that is totally F**ed. This means that pain is a constant companion for me.Continue reading “Life with Chronic Pain”

Consumed by Self Loathing

I decided today to make a list of the things I like about everyone in my family. I made a nice long list for each of my kids and my husband. I listed all the things I love and find special about each of them. It made me smile to think of all the waysContinue reading “Consumed by Self Loathing”

It’s Only Hair…

…Except it’s so much more than that. Hair is such an important part of one’s identity. When you look at someone, you immediately notice a few things. Their face, their clothes, and their hair. Some people keep the same hair their whole life. Others change it frequently. They experiment with color, length, and various styles.Continue reading “It’s Only Hair…”

Finding Happiness

I am a work in progress. Especially in the last 2 years. I am (almost) always working to improve myself somehow. I can’t do much improvement on the physical part, but I can focus on the mental, emotional, spiritual, and social parts of myself. I find it important to set goals for myself. Otherwise IContinue reading “Finding Happiness”