Tag: anxiety
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Confused
Today is a better day. A stark contrast from 2 days ago. The sun came out and I can see goodness, although my view of the world is still a bit skewed. My depression is still lingering but it is much lighter today. Dare I say I’m on the upswing. I did finally reach out […]
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Spiraling
I feel like I’m on the verge of a mental breakdown. My thoughts are spiraling out of control again. Negative thoughts. Ugly thoughts. Wondering who I really am. Feeling lost. Confused. Not sure who I am. Did I ever know who I was? When I was a teenager I was blissfully unaware of life and […]
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Focus Inward
In light of my most recent discovery about myself, I’ve been reevaluating myself and my social interactions. I’ve spent my whole life trying to be social and have friends while always wondered what was wrong with me that I couldn’t do it like everybody else. I could never understand why it took so much effort […]
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Living Life 2 hours at a Time
There’s this idea out there that if you (…or I) just think positive, then whatever is ailing us will just magically disappear. Like “have you tried not thinking about it?” or “You just need to be more positive”. As if the reason for my pain and illness is because I think about it too much. […]
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Finding Happiness
I am a work in progress. Especially in the last 2 years. I am (almost) always working to improve myself somehow. I can’t do much improvement on the physical part, but I can focus on the mental, emotional, spiritual, and social parts of myself. I find it important to set goals for myself. Otherwise I […]
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The All Too Familiar Sjogren’s Flare
For me, a flare comes in many shapes and sizes. It is constantly evolving and always keeps me on my toes. I wake up each morning wondering what symptoms today will bring. My symptoms in general vary greatly. An autoimmune disease such as Sjogren’s Syndrome comes with many varying symptoms. Some come and go. Some […]
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Imprisoned Again
As I’ve mentioned in previous blog posts, I am mostly homebound. I say mostly because its not quite 100%. I’d feel like I was being dramatic by claiming I am fully homebound. This is because on rare occasions I do actually leave the house. Usually its only for doctor appointments or when I absolutely MUST […]
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Chronic Illness Doesn’t Rest for Christmas
Yesterday was Christmas day. We all woke up at 6am and had a great time opening presents and just being together as a family. The kids had a great time and I enjoyed seeing their happiness. It also happened to be a terrible day for me. My body was fighting me very hard. I woke […]
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Foggy…
I’m very scattered today. Having trouble concentrating. I have a million tasks running through my head… things on my To-do list, but I can’t seem to get my act together to make it happen. I’ve walked in various rooms with intentions of doing something, then aborted mission and went back to my safe place on […]
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Learning How to Save Myself…
I wanted to write this blog to share something that has truly helped me during my darkest times. I was drowning in pain, depression, hopelessness, and despair and I needed to find a way to save myself. This is how I’m doing it. Its true that when you are sick, tired, and in pain nearly […]
Surviving As Mom 