Tag: loneliness
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Spiraling
I feel like I’m on the verge of a mental breakdown. My thoughts are spiraling out of control again. Negative thoughts. Ugly thoughts. Wondering who I really am. Feeling lost. Confused. Not sure who I am. Did I ever know who I was? When I was a teenager I was blissfully unaware of life and…
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Focus Inward
In light of my most recent discovery about myself (being on the autism spectrum), I’ve been reevaluating myself and my social interactions. I’ve spent my whole life trying to be social and have friends while always wondered what was wrong with me that I couldn’t do it like everybody else. I could never understand why…
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When There is No One
I read a lot of motivational quotes and sayings about general positivity, mindfulness, etc. One thing that I often see is about the importance of having a loving and supportive circle of friends. How having friends can help me to live a longer, healthier, more fulfilled life. I hear people discuss how they’d be lost…
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I am Only Human
Yesterday I was sitting on my lounger next to the pool watching my 6 year old son and my 5 year old nephew swim together… I’m amused by their imagination as they make up random scenarios to act out together. It is early September and the weather is very mild. It is a comfortable…
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My Not-So-Happy Birthday
Tomorrow is my 40th birthday. I have mixed feelings about this. In the last 10 years or so, my birthday brings me sadness. There wasn’t any particular event that permanently ruined my special day. I try to be happy about the celebration of another year of life, but there is always a darkness, a heaviness…
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Imprisoned Again
As I’ve mentioned in previous blog posts, I am mostly homebound. I say mostly because its not quite 100%. I’d feel like I was being dramatic by claiming I am fully homebound. This is because on rare occasions I do actually leave the house. Usually its only for doctor appointments or when I absolutely MUST…
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Feed the Birds…
Being stuck at home all the time is horribly boring and isolating. Even though I live with my husband and 4 children, I am still terribly lonely. The loneliness is excruciating! I crave human interaction, even though I often can’t handle much of it. It’s easy to get sucked into depression, and I often find…
Surviving As Mom 