Tag: mental health
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A Life of Confusion…
At 40 years old I’ve discovered that I have Autism. There, I said it! I feel ridiculous saying it at all. But it is the truth. It has been my truth all along but I never knew it. This explains why I’ve always had so many problems with myself and why I’ve hated myself for…
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When There is No One
I read a lot of motivational quotes and sayings about general positivity, mindfulness, etc. One thing that I often see is about the importance of having a loving and supportive circle of friends. How having friends can help me to live a longer, healthier, more fulfilled life. I hear people discuss how they’d be lost…
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I am Only Human
Yesterday I was sitting on my lounger next to the pool watching my 6 year old son and my 5 year old nephew swim together… I’m amused by their imagination as they make up random scenarios to act out together. It is early September and the weather is very mild. It is a comfortable…
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What is this Strange Feeling?
I’ve been feeling strong. I’m feeling good! I feel amazing! I’m trying not to get too attached, but I truly enjoy each day of feeling good. I’m exercising, learning, having fun, being active, …acting normal. I’m even walking more than I have in years! I have a theory for my surprising strength and overall wellbeing.…
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Ride the Wave…
I think I’ve definitely come out of my long winter flare and I am enjoying every second of feeling (almost) normal before its over. I think I’m currently at my peak. Keep in mind that a peak for me is about 85-90%, compared to a healthy person at 100%. I won’t complain though. This still…
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Rebirth after a Flare
I’m happy to admit that I have been feeling pretty good lately. I finally came out of my flare about a month ago, and I’m so happy. It always feels like a rebirth. Like I woke up out of a months-long coma. This seems to be a pattern each year in the spring. I come…
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Living Life 2 hours at a Time
There’s this idea out there that if you (…or I) just think positive, then whatever is ailing us will just magically disappear. Like “have you tried not thinking about it?” or “You just need to be more positive”. As if the reason for my pain and illness is because I think about it too much.…
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My Not-So-Happy Birthday
Tomorrow is my 40th birthday. I have mixed feelings about this. In the last 10 years or so, my birthday brings me sadness. There wasn’t any particular event that permanently ruined my special day. I try to be happy about the celebration of another year of life, but there is always a darkness, a heaviness…
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Life with Chronic Pain
Let’s talk about pain. Having a chronic illness comes with a lot of pain. For me, pain comes from a lot of sources including achy joints, muscles, bones, and even gastrointestinal problems. I also have the added complication of a spine that is totally F**ed. This means that pain is a constant companion for me.…
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Consumed by Self Loathing
I decided today to make a list of the things I like about everyone in my family. I made a nice long list for each of my kids and my husband. I listed all the things I love and find special about each of them. It made me smile to think of all the ways…
Surviving As Mom 