Surviving As Mom

I came across some very interesting studies regarding psychedelics being used for mental health. I immediately started watching documentaries, reading books, and online journals, etc. to learn as much as possible about these psychedelics, specifically psilocybin. I learned about microdosing magic mushrooms for better overall mental health and well being. So I decided to be my own science experiment.

I have been dealing with ADHD and anxiety for most of my life. I had no idea until I was much older that I even had these issues. I was never diagnosed by a professional and treated with medications. I only realized that these problems existed when I was already an adult and struggling with work and life in general. Even then I just ignored it and got on with my life. I tried stimulants for better focus but I didn’t like the side effects so quickly discontinued use.

At 41, my ADHD is out of control (in my opinion). I find it very hard to focus on any single task and I constantly feel scattered and hanging on for my life. I feel like I’m barely making it through each day when it comes to managing my responsibilities as a wife and mother. Even simple tasks like planning dinner or making a grocery list is so overwhelming to me and I shut down and become frustrated.

I reached out to a mental health professional to try to manage my ADHD and anxiety with the use of medications. I tried a few including Wellbutrin and Cymbalta with ugly side effects. I quickly decided it wasn’t for me. I hate side effects! Frustrated and discouraged, I gave up on that. Then I accidentally stumbled upon all this beautiful research on psychedelics and was immediately intrigued. If you google “psilocybin and ADHD”, there is a ton of promising information out there. I decided right then and there that I was gonna get my hands on these magic mushrooms and give it a try.

Just a little background on me… I was never one to experiment with “drugs”. I am a huge chicken and scared of things going wrong. I don’t enjoy toying with my body and mind for a quick thrill. The first time I tasted beer as a young teenager, I gave myself an anxiety attack cuz I thought the beer was giving me a heart attack. That was just one sip. The only reason I was so unafraid to try cannabis was because my family regularly smoked it around me growing up so I knew it was safe. I never tried anything other than Cannabis, and I was still too afraid to use it regularly until I saw all the medical research and how beneficial it actually is. So the idea of using psychedelics was always a hard NO for me until this point. Thank goodness for actual scientific research to open my eyes. Once scientists and doctors said it was not only safe, but beneficial, I was intrigued.

My experiment started a few days ago when I tried my first micro dose of psilocybin (magic mushrooms). I was scared, having no idea what to expect. I didn’t want to hallucinate and lose control of my mind. I ate one piece of chocolate infused with psilocybin and waited about an hour to feel something. I hardly noticed anything. Nothing looked or sounded different. I only noticed that I felt kinda nice and relaxed. I was energetic, creative, and motivated. My mind was clear. However, I was a bit disappointed that I didn’t see more. I was really looking forward to watching my flower garden come to life and start growing and dancing around me. I guess I need a higher dose for that to happen. About 2 hours after the initial dose I decided to eat a second piece of chocolate hoping for a more noticable result. After another hour, I did notice that things just looked a lot prettier. More vibrant. More beautiful. Nothing more than that. In a few hours it was gone. I still felt good overall. Like my mood was uplifted and I had energy. Around midnight I was still wide awake with no interest in going to sleep anytime soon. Not a problem though because once I decided to shut it down for the night, I was able to fall asleep in a short time. I went to bed around 1am and drifted off to sleep. I woke up feeling pretty good.

Yesterday I decided that I was going to take a bit more than a micro dose. I WANTED to see things happen. It was a quiet day at home after my am commitments and my husband was home to help me and the kids if needed. In the early evening I ate 3 choc squares. An hour later I felt really good. Everything looked more vibrant but not what i was looking for. I took a few more (still considered a mild dose). This time, I started seeing some cool things. It wasn’t a full trip, but if I took the time to notice, I’d see some cool things. I sat in my backyard and watched the clouds as the sunset was nearing. I watched the trees swaying in the breeze. The leaves looked like fractals and they were moving in a rhythm like they were breathing. It looked beautiful. Like the trees were dancing. The sky did a beautiful dance with a hint of rainbow colors between the streaks of clouds. It was so entertaining. My mind was totally clear and my ability to think and function was not affected. I didn’t feel high. Just really nice. I can say I was thinking clearer than ever. It was an amazing feeling. After it got dark I had to come inside because the outdoors can get scary in the dark. The shadows and trees played with my senses and my mind started visualizing shapes that resembled mystical faces and creatures. I wasn’t hallucinating. It was more like my imagination opened up and made something out of ordinary things. It wasn’t constant. I had to actually take the time to look and see something. Not scary at all like I expected. Very entertaining for sure!!

I was awake, energized, creative, and motivated. It was like a stimulant but without the ugly side effects. The results were kind of what I was looking for when I started taking meds for my ADHD and anxiety. My mind was alive and clear! I am happy with the result. Obviously I can’t do this all the time. I’d consider a waste unless I had the time to sit and do nothing for a few hours to fully enjoy it. Kinda hard when I still have to be mom. I’ll have to save the experience for a later date when I can just sit back and enjoy the show.

Just to be clear, I’m taking other daily brain supplements to aid in the process. Studies show that combining particular supplements increases their power. They all work together to give me a super brain. I’m taking Lion’s Mane mushroom supplements which include other beneficial mushrooms in the blend. There is no high with these. Its more like a multivitamin for brain power. I do notice a difference in my functioning since started these supplements about a week ago. I’m also still using CBD and Cannabis. This is what I call the magic trifecta. Cannabis, Lion’s Mane, and psilocybin taken together have been shown to have great results.

The correct way to micro dose is to take the designated amount of psilocybin (magic mushrooms) in the morning with food. Nothing for 3 days, then dose again on the 4th day. Today is day 1 of no psilocybin. I still feel the positive effects of the mushrooms but no high. I am energetic, bright, clear, organized, motivated, creative. I have new energy for life. I’m surprised that I can feel this good even though I didn’t dose today. I’m curious to see how long the feeling lasts between doses.

I’m real curious to see if these new magical supplements make any difference for me physically. There is some evidence (in studies) that my chronic illness symptoms may improve. That would be double amazing!! Almost too good to be true. I am definitely noticing more energy overall. Considering my fatigue is my biggest complaint, I’d call this a win!

*I will be journaling my process in this blog (as much as I can remember to). Maybe being my own science experiment and sharing my findings can help someone out there who may be reading.

Stay tuned!