Surviving As Mom

*This post was written a week ago. I finally had time to post it today.

I woke up a few days ago with a UTI and have been a mess ever since. The last few days I really struggled with my energy and have spent much of my time laying on the couch napping. Today for example I got my nails done in the morning. I sat in a chair for 30 minutes while somebody fiddled with my fingers and when I came home I was so exhausted I could not move. I didn’t have the energy to prepare or eat lunch so I skipped that meal. I laid on the couch and slept for about three hours waking up only to get my kids off of the bus. I came back in and laid down and have not been able to move. I had plans to make a very nice dinner but now I have zero energy and cannot make dinner. I’m dazed and confused, forgetful and not thinking very clearly at all. I’m hoping this will get better once I finish my antibiotics but my expectations are not very high. It’s likely that this infection has put me into a new flare. Every day I wake up hoping that I’ll feel better but so far it has not happened. I can tell immediately in the morning because I have to work really hard to drag myself out of bed and then I can’t wait to lay down again. Besides an upset stomach from the antibiotics I don’t actually feel sick yet. I am dealing with severe fatigue and weakness so that walking from one room to another feels like I’m climbing a mountain with a heavy backpack on. To say I’m disappointed and discouraged would be an understatement. I was really enjoying living life and behaving like a normal person. This shit is unfair! Why can’t I just be normal like everyone else? All I can do now is hope that this passes quickly so I can get back to living life before the summer is over. I’m not depressed yet but I know that it will happen if I continue this way for too long.

Let’s see what tomorrow brings…