Dec 10, 2020
Today is three weeks since I’ve had my hysterectomy. I’m still recovering and quite sore. The surgery has also put me into a flare. I’m disappointed, but not surprised. Any trauma is not tolerated by my body and I pay the price for weeks to months afterwards.
On November 19th, 2020 I went in to surgery for a partial hysterectomy. I kept my cervix and ovaries. I opted for the surgery because I’ve had multiple large fibroids since having children and they’ve become quite painful. I wanted them out! I was very nervous about going into surgery since my health has not been great in the last few weeks. Still I went forward. Little did I know, this surgery would nearly kill me. About 12 hours after the surgery I nearly bled to death in the recovery room. During those hours, I was barely conscious. I’d wake up long enough to feel my pain and to realize that I could not stay awake for more than a about 20 seconds. Even then I knew something wasn’t right. Around 9:50pm I woke up feeling like I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t take a deep breath and knew something was very wrong. I called for help and when the nurse came to see what I needed, I said I can’t breathe and I don’t feel well. She took my blood pressure and saw 64/30 with a heart rate of 122. I knew exactly what that meant and even said out loud “I’m bleeding internally”. She immediately called for a rapid response team and a crash cart. I was in hypovolemic shock and near death. I had lost nearly half my blood volume and was in critical condition. Doctors filled the room. I knew exactly what was happening and I was terrified. I had multiple people touching me and sticking me with needles. It felt like forever, but was only about 15 minutes or so. For the first time ever, I was begging for my life. I told the doctor “You can’t let me die. I have 4 children who need me”. The reality of the situation was terrifying and I was panicking. They assured me that I was in good hands. I was rushed back into surgery to remove a large blood clot that had developed from the blood pooling in my abdomen. The last thing I could think of before I was put back under was “this could be the end of me. This could be my last seconds alive. PLEASE let me wake up when this is over.”
When I woke up again, I actually said “I’m still alive!” They saved me! I just had a real near death experience and I made it through. Terrifying to say the least. I still have nightmares and flashbacks of those scary moments. After the surgery, I spent 3 days in bed, unable to move more than just my arms and legs a little. I was in absolute agony and I was extremely weak. I was given 5 total units of blood to keep me alive. Four during surgery and one the next day. I felt awful. On the 3rd night my doctor forced me out of bed by removing my foley catheter. This meant I had to get up out of bed to use the bathroom. Actually it was a commode next to my bed since I couldn’t exactly walk. Once that happened I started doing a little better. After about 5 days, I told my doctor to send me home because I was not satisfied with the aftercare I was receiving. I had very little attention from the hospital staff and would have rotted in the bed if I hadn’t gotten up to walk on my own. I was not encouraged to walk by the staff and my hygiene was not properly tended to. I probably should have stayed another night but I knew I’d get better care from my family at home. I also barely saw my husband while I was there because of visiting restrictions due to Covid. At least if I was home, I’d be with him and my children.
I felt terrible for about a week after I got home and was in agony, but I eventually started getting better slowly. I just rested all day and ate whenever I could.
Now its three weeks later and I’m doing much better. I feel mostly like my old self again but still very sore. Of course I’m flaring now so my energy is pathetic and I still feel sick, but at least I’m home. More importantly, I’m still alive!
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