Fashion Choices during a Flare

I’ve been wearing the same clothes for 3 days now. I shower each night so I’m not dirty or smelly. I lay around all day so I don’t sweat or get dirty. I don’t leave the house or play outside, especially in the winter. I also don’t see anyone other than my husband and children, so who cares? I wear a comfy outfit of sweatpants, sweatshirt, and a comfy scarf with warm slippers. This combo iss my general home uniform. When I’m not feeling well and I want to be as comfy as possible, I dress this way. I have about 5 different combinations of sweats that I cycle through. I wear them for a few days, then move on to the next one.

When I was feeling better (last month), I bought a whole new wardrobe of nice clothes. Jeans, dresses, sweaters, blouses, shoes, jewelry, belts, etc. I was so looking forward to looking good! Then, I started a flare and all those clothes just sit in my closet. Most of them still with tags. As I lay here each day looking like a slob, I regret spending money on all those nice things that I’ll not wear anytime soon, if at all. It occurred to me that I was fooling myself by pretending I was normal. By pretending that I was healthy enough to actually leave the house and socialize like everyone else. I imagined having a life outside of the home. I decided to stop shopping for “real” clothes and start shopping for clothes that are more suited for my lifestyle as a housebound chronic illness patient. Now I shop for comfy, but (hopefully) cute lounge clothes. I’m tired of looking like a lazy slob, but I can’t handle wearing anything other than super comfy stuff since I lay around most of the day feeling miserable. Plus, its hard to be motivated to get dressed properly for no reason at all. It seems like waste of precious energy. I’d like to look somewhat put together while still being comfy. Plus, I feel terrible that my husband has to look at me like this. He deserves to see a beautiful, hot wife that he can be proud of. Not the frumpy, sloppy, sick person he has to look at every day. He says he doesn’t care, but I don’t like it. It’s embarrassing actually. Also, for the rare occasion that someone comes over (even if it is hired help), I can look a little more presentable. Hopefully I can look a little more put together while staying in my comfort zone. Now I’m just waiting anxiously for my packages in the mail. 🙂

Published by Meredith Gallie

My name is Meredith. I’m a mother of 4 boys living in NY on Long Island. I suffer from a chronic illness called Sjogren’s Syndrome. It is a debilitating autoimmune disease which has wreaked havoc on my body, causing me to become disabled and mostly housebound. Each day for me is about survival and caring for my children. My older boys are twins, one of which has autism. These are challenges that I must try to overcome each day, but I am thankful for my family. I’m thankful to have a loving husband who is able to help and provide a comfortable life for us. We are thankful for his hard work and dedication. I’m not a writer by any means, but I wanted to make this blog as an outlet for all the noise in my head, as well as something to focus on to keep my brain from melting into a pile of mush. I also hope my thoughts and experiences will help others out there with similar struggles. Some of my posts will be like a public diary, some will be advice and inspiration. Some posts will be dark and sad, some will be uplifting and inspiring. I’m just going to write according to whatever mood I’m feeling at the time. It’s a bumpy ride, but hopefully you find it helpful or entertaining. Enjoy!

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