Surviving As Mom

I woke up at 7:30am to give Lucas his morning meds. I went back to bed but couldn’t fall asleep. I just laid there, looking out my window at the sunrise. It was a beautiful clear morning. The sky was pink, orange, and blue. What a difference from yesterday’s thick fog and clouds. I laid in bed until about 9:30. Laying around staring off into space for 2 or more hours is a little too easy for me. I’ve gotten very used to it after so many years of practice. As I laid there, I noticed that I didn’t feel too bad. This was strange. I felt awake, somewhat refreshed, and feeling fairly well. I got myself dressed in sweats and went downstairs to greet my children and start my day. I was in a pretty good mood too. I love waking up feeling ok, especially when the sun is shining.

My sister and her 2 sons were coming to visit me. They’d be here in about 2 hours. This was enough time for me to clean up a little and prepare for the chaos that comes with 6 boys under 12 years old. My kids are 5, 8, 11 & 11. Her kids are 4 and 6. I love it though. It reminds me of my childhood. Always surrounded by my 5 siblings and lots of cousins. My sister is 8 years older than me, and she’s my best friend. She’s pretty much the only visitor I get. She tries to come 1-2 times a month, depending on everyone’s schedule.

She brought bagels for everyone for brunch. I couldn’t eat them because I’m gluten free, but it was nice to see everyone enjoying them. Being gluten free for me is NOT a choice. I have what doctors refer to as “non-celiac gluten intolerance”. Basically, I get all the same symptoms of stomach pains, bloating, nausea, multiple bathroom runs, etc. that someone with celiac’s has, but I don’t have the visible damage to my intestines. I’ve been gluten free for about 3 years now. I am NOT a willing participant, but the consequences are unbearable for me. We’ll talk more about this topic another time.

Today was unseasonably warm. We enjoyed a sunny 61 degrees F, which is very warm in NY for mid December. I welcome a break from the cold temps. The cold makes my body ache. The 4 little boys played out front in the driveway riding scooters and skateboards down the slope towards my house. I sat outside with them to watch and to do some organizing in the garage. I like taking advantage of nice weather when I’m feeling well enough to do so. My sister joined us outside. We sat, chatted and enjoyed watching the kids. It was a wonderful change from my usual routine. I truly enjoy these moments.

Of course, all good things must come to an end. Around 3pm, my activity started to catch up to me and I was exhausted and in pain. My pain was mostly from my recent surgical wound. I did a little too much and I was paying for it. I spent the next few hours laying down to recover, but I don’t mind it too much today. I earned the right to feel like this after having such an enjoyable and productive day. I get more upset when I feel like this when I’ve done nothing at all. I can’t cook dinner tonight so it looks like its gonna be Dominoes pizza again. I used up all my energy, and I also forgot to defrost something from the freezer, so pizza it is. Of course I won’t be eating it. I’ll have to find something else to eat. Maybe one of my pre made frozen meals will have to do. It’s all good. I’m happy today. It was a good day.